Let's Talk About Community

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” - Jim Rohn

What do you think?

Do you think that is true?

I’ve been sitting at my dining room table thinking about this. I’m thinking through who I see the most, speak to the most, and make plans with the most. Obviously my fiancé, my coworkers, and a few close friends come to mind.

Am I more like each of them today than I was a year ago?

And the bigger question—is that the goal?

I don’t think so, though I can see ways that Katy’s patience and JW’s joy and Ashley’s steadiness and Lillian’s dedication and Rob’s passion and Kelley’s kindness have all shaped me.

But each of these qualities that I see growing in me, because of the people around me, are qualities of Jesus. They are fruits of a mature life, rooted in truth and rooted in the Gospel.

The reality is that we are each deeply affected by who we spend our time with on a regular basis. The loudest voices are often the most frequent voices.

Photo by Emmanuel Olguín on Unsplash

When I hang around friends who gossip, I find more stories that aren’t mine to tell.
When I hang around friends who cuss, I feel those words on the tip of my tongue.

When I hang with friends who constantly worry about the state of the world, I am more worried.

So it tells me a lot that the people I’m spending the most time with right now are actually reminding me of Jesus, showing me the path to a healthy mature life.

It’s easier to see how prayer, fasting, and generosity make someone spiritually stronger. Those disciplines and rhythms are a bit easier to trace, easier to see your own growth. I can feel myself moving slower in prayer than I did a year ago, sitting quietly for a few more minutes (read: 2-4 minutes LOL) than I used to.

But am I spiritually stronger because of my community? Are the people around me making me spiritually stronger? Is that what community is for?

. . . . .

These are the questions we are going to work through and think about for the next three weeks as we dive into the discipline of community.

We’re going to sit with some friends who are the epitome of commitment. Why does committing to community matter when we really want to give up? We have already established this year that staying power is what strengthens us, so how do we do that in relationships?

Then we get to turn the attention towards ourselves a bit and learn about our own communication style and identify some places where we can lean into our strengths and some places where our weaknesses are affecting our community. If it is true that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, that also means that a few people in the world are changing because YOU are up close to them. How can we offer our best selves to our people to help them grow and change into who they want to be?

We’ll finish our Community series with a wise woman who has walked through a lot— physically, emotionally, spiritually—and learn how she allowed community to come around her and strengthen her, to help her heal and grow and survive the hardest days.

Yes, community is a spiritual practice and it’s a way to be spiritually stronger. In a world you can’t control, you can be surrounded by people who will help you be spiritually stronger. You will hear it, over the next few weeks, as we deep dive into the rhythm of community.

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Spiritually Stronger Together

Share in the comments: Think of the five people you spend the most time with. What is one characteristic you see in yourself that has grown because of the people around you?